Free Fire Zone

I heard about this story on the radio this morning.

The Academy of the Sacred Heart in New Orleans is expecting a stream of contributions during Mardi Gras.

The Catholic school has a bank of porta-potties for revelers seeking relief.

A one-time trip costs a buck and an all-day pass is five dollars.

Of course they couldn’t resist a few jokes (i.e. “a stream of contributions”), but this part at the end caught my attention:

While New Orleans maybe long on Mardi Gras fun, it’s short on places for a pit stop.

Author Julie Smith and her husband Lee own a house in the French Quarter. She says the locals know to tape up their mail slots during Mardi Gras, which runs through Tuesday.  (Emphasis added)

Holy cow!  I know people can get desperate, but that’s just way beyond any sort of civilized behavior. 

Instead of taping up my mail slot, I’d probably sit inside with a pellet pistol and give these miscreants something to think about the next day.

Or, if I wanted to be especially cruel, a water gun loaded with habanero juice.  cool grin


  1. Phelps says:

    An electric fence wire strung across the opening lengthwise would do the trick, I think.

  2. Monty says:

    Or, you could go directly to the source of the problem with some large, tight-fitting corks and a mallet.  cheese

  3. Gerry N. says:

    A quirt would be my weapon of choice.  Then I’d go out onto the porch and finish up the job with a baseball bat. 

    Or a razor sharp long knife, perhaps a serrated bread knife.  Do the Lorena.  Bobbit, that is.