The Malcolm Report

Alternate title: The Dog Slobber Report

Malcolm seems to be adjusting to life here, although there have been a few rough spots along the way. 

He’s now officially banned from the bed because of an unfortunate pee incident.  But he learned fairly quickly not to chew the couch cushions.  He chewed them twice while I was out.  After the second incident I gave him a good scolding and he hasn’t messed with them again.  On the bright side is that he chose the back edge to chew on, and he didn’t chew too much of it, so it remains hidden however I flip the cushion. 

Tomorrow marks the two week anniversary of his neuter operation, and he’ll be going back to have the sutures removed.  Amazingly, he didn’t act like anything had happened once he was back home.  The vet gave instructions that he was supposed to be on “limited activity” for the first 7 days, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to limit it other than to lock him into a room or something.  He was running and jumping right away and immediately started playing with Boots.  They’ve spent hours and hours playing (and slobbering on one another and me) since then and the only incident that I noticed was when Boots rammed her head into his underbelly.  He jumped several feet into the air and yelped when that happened. 

I noticed that he doesn’t like to climb up into the truck, which is odd because his long legs should make it fairly easy (this was before the surgery).  He’s also quite reluctant to come down (he slowly slides his head over the edge and then kind of slides off the seat onto the ground).  While Boots has no problems getting in and out, when I factored in Malcolm’s issues and thought about the strain on her forelegs when she jumps down, I decided to get a ramp.  I found a really nice telescoping ramp with an aluminum frame that should have been suitable for both of them.  Unfortunately, the first time I extended it the aluminum made a screeching sound that traumatized the both of them.  I tried introducing them to it slowly (i.e. leaving it on the floor and letting them sniff it and get acclimated to it), but nothing I could do would convince them to get on it.  I finally managed to get Boots on it a couple of times by setting it up on a chair in the living room and putting a treat at the top.  It was set up such that the only way either of them could reach the treat was by walking up the ramp.  But Malcolm is still a no-go, so I’m guessing the ramp is going to be a waste of money.  That, or I’ll just have to spend more time letting him get used to it.  If they won’t use a ramp, then maybe I’ll have to look at getting a shorter vehicle in the future (that said, I happened to notice the ‘08 Honda Elements look better than the first ones, which I had originally dismissed; perhaps it’s time for another look).

The two of them are prodigious poop machines.  I’m now trying to figure out what to do about the backyard, which is now something of a minefield.  I’m looking into some sort of “digester” (a doggie septic tank).  Either I’ll just get a commercial model (like the Doggie Dooley) or perhaps build something on my own (some instructions/examples here).  Over the weekend I started to dig the hole, but after pecking at the rock-hard ground a couple of times with a shovel I gave up and went back inside (my get-up-and-go had got-up-and-went). 

By the way, this dog business is fairly expensive:

* Initial exam, heartworm meds, flea treatement, city tag $150
* Grooming (mat removal, bathing, cutting) $50
* Neuter and microchip $300
* Unused ramp $100

Total so far:  $600 and counting

Edit: As noted in the comments, I have a mental block when writing/typing the name Malcolm.  I’ve edited the entry to fix the misspellings.


  1. Shelly says:

    Just curious:  why the non-traditional spelling?  Malcom instead of Malcolm?  Is there a story?

  2. No story other than me being a dork.  red face

    There are certain words for which I have a mental block concerning their correct spelling.  The second ‘l’ in Malcolm always throws me (kind of like ‘Lincoln’; I have to always think “link – O – lynn” to make sure I spell it right).

    But now that you mention it I guess I had better get him a new dog tag.  Your comment made me realize that I made the same mistake there as well.