While I was at the ATM this evening I noticed someone pull up behind me just as I was finishing.  Rather than hold them up I pulled forward enough to let them access the machine while I put away my card, cash, and receipt.  But no sooner than I’d pulled forward and folded the receipt the asshole pulled up and started honking.  He hadn’t even tried to use the ATM.

So I went ahead and finished putting stuff away and started to put the truck into gear when this guy started honking again along with the addition of yelling something or other that I couldn’t make out.  It was bad enough that he’d honked at all, so his escalating bad manners tripped my passive-aggressive frack with assholes gene.  I put the truck into reverse and held it there for a few seconds, then put it into drive and waited a purposely languid five-count.  This sent Mr. Impatient Rage-Head off the deep end and he really started losing it so I went ahead and moved forward, but at the slowest possible speed that an Avalanche can attain (so slow as to be unreadable on the speedometer).

I think what really happened here is that Mr. Impatient Rage-Head was trying to drive through instead of going to the ATM and misinterpreted my moving forward as being done rather than as doing him the favor of allowing access to the machine.  I say this because he immediately went to one of the nearby parking spots and someone got out.  Frankly, though, if you’re going to get into the ATM lane, you should expect some sort of delay.

I get a real kick out of annoying assholes, especially inconsiderate ones.  I think I need a bumper-sticker to that effect.  Although that might take some of the fun out of it.  Anyhow, the more you push, the more I resist and dawdle and delay.  It’s a natural and ingrained reaction.  But assholes never learn, so I seem to have a never-ending source for amusement.