If you have to rely on the police report to find out what happened, you’ve probably had too much to drink:

“I don’t know what happened,” Feldman told the Register. “But I don’t deny that it did happen, because, obviously, there are police reports.”

So what did happen?

University police cited Feldman and Ross M. Walsh, 26, of Linden, Iowa, for indecent conduct.

Feldman said she had never met Walsh.

“I don’t know who this man is,” she told the Register. “I just found out his name in the paper.”

A security guard discovered the two having sex in a handicapped stall in a men’s room, police said. Police were summoned, and they interrupted the two.

Walsh was released to his girlfriend and Feldman to her husband, police said.

I suppose finding out the other party’s name in the newspaper would be a second indicator that you’d had too much to drink.  And that must have been one heck of a ride home…